i want to do nothing.
and i sound like a spoilt brat.


and why do they not hear me.
or forget what i tell them?
so infuriating.
and its just so hard to emote nowadays.

ahh.
bimbo. i guess you know how i feel.
just the treadmill that keeps going on, isn't it?
all the roller coasters.
i wish i could sleep it all away too.

gives a wry smile.

words sometimes don't help
standing and watching
sometimes its all that i can do
staring and wondering
it all doesn't help at all
wishing that sometimes people do see you
how i wish sometimes


If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather
'til I only dwell in Thee?

If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee


ok i'm off to draw and doodle for ministry day tmr.

Labels: lor lor so so hao xiang lao tai po yi yang

8:57 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

kiss me
out of the bearded barley
nightly, beside the green, green grass
swing, swing
swing the spinning step
you'll wear those shoes and
i'll wear that dress

oh, kiss me beneath the millky twilight
lead me out on the moonlit floor
lift your open hand
strike up the band
and make the fireflies dance
silver moon's sparkling
so kiss me

kiss me
down by the broken treehouse
swing me upon its hanging tire
bring, bring
bring your flowered hat
we'll take the trail marked on your father's map

oh, kiss me beneath the millky twilight
lead me out on the moonlit floor
lift your open hand
strike up the band
and make the fireflies dance
silver moon's sparkling
so kiss me

Labels: so kiss me.

2:38 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i realised that my last post was the 365th one.
wow. a year that has gone by. in blog sense. but much more and more has been in here.

adora said it was mainly lyrics.
i guess i do emote things better in songs,and talk about me being a science student.
but i realised that you can't really classify people as to "science"=smart, or "arts"= creative, or in any sense, we just cannot stereotype people.

i still want to sit by orchard road and watch people as they walk by.
i still want to find a field and lie back, and stare the clouds into something as they pass me by.
i still want to sing with the guitar along some road.
i still want to paint on canvas and be amazed at my masterpiece, not knowing what it means or represent, but at the same time feeling every bit of what i've painted.

hmm. am i getting lost in my own sea of thoughts or just rambling on.

i wonder if, sometimes i'm too naive.
if i'm too trusting, or too nice.
just too innocent, and caught up away in my own clouds.

i want to live a secret life.
some place where i can run off to live my dreams,
of not having a care in the world,
and not bother about whether i have to sleep,
or have to think about the consequence of my actions.

not in a sense where i do crazy things like going partying or anything.
but just to simply while away time, and enjoy it at my own pace.

that's why i wanna live by the countryside.

not that i don't appreciate technology, or not like the city we're living in.

but i just want to enjoy You.
Your creation.
not be distracted by anything else around me.
not to have "Oh! i've to study! oh! i've to do this. and that."
it's not like i don't enjoy doing them.
but sometimes,
i want to run away.


oh, the escapist in me.

and now, im sitting here in my living room on my sofa,
typing this, when i
should be
reading through my pharmacology notes,
practising my malay,
reading my new found fren-Katzung. Basic and Clinical Pharmacology.
but no.

oh of fairytales,
and knights and kings
with banquets and a long long stair
to climb upon the mountain steep
yea that's what i dream

to see of queens
with beauty sweet
and leaping fawns in green green grass
to ride upon a horse bare back
that's what i dream

so can you see
this heart of mine
that yearns to be part of an adventure
can you feel
the soul that runs
and longs to run with the wind
oh can you see
can you see
the beauty that is yet
to be unveiled



mum is chopping up veg.
why doesn she want me to help?
and she says i'm never around.
makes a face.

i suffer from constipation. yuck. the feeling is gross.

haha.

clement is v amused by use of "unloading the refugees" (;

and i thank you dear lord.
that with the little that i have, and offered,
you still made it alot.

was just so amazing yesterday to hear the congre sing so loudly, and with all of their hearts. even for smash, it wasn't so loud, and im just so so amazed.
ahhh! thank you jesus! thank you for glorifying your Name!
the Name that is above eveyr other Name!
ahh!
just so so happy(((:

heheh.

gives a really big and wide smile.

chasing stars and kissing lights
that hang in time
painting suns and blowing storms
away and away they go
how we could live this life again
knowing i'll be here
and you'll be there


yay(:
another nice song that runs thru my mind.(:
i thank God for allowing me to type these lyrics out.
hah i don't care if nobody likes them,
i do(:


knowing You, Jesus
knwoing You
there is no greater thing
You're my all
You're the best
You're my joy my Righteousness
and i love You Lord

all i once held dear
now i count as loss


what do i hold on to?

maybe i should go for a run.

Labels: so kiss me.

3:55 PM

You use the little i have
and make multiply it a multi-fold.


go on
go on
leave me breathless

the little i have
use it for your glory.

12:37 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

the broken clock is a comfort
as we sleep tonight

and im holding on
barely breathing

qi wen sucked mucus out of my throat today.
so cool.
suctioning.
respiratory care.
oxygen therapy.


don't have to prove myself
just have to show and tell it's
you in me


another day gone.
why do i feel like crying?
all these thoughts that fill my head.


i love sitting on the train with you
i love listening to you
i love walking with you
i love bus rides with you
i love you jesus

help me to fall more in love with you

you never break your promise
you never leave me
you never tire

and as i stumble again,
barely finding my way
with doubts and thoughts that haunt me
and sink beneath the surface

you hold my hand in yours
my world in the palm of your hand

so i'll let my words be few
jesus i am so in love with you

Labels: -

1:23 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i will never quit.
i will never give up.
never will i give up.

my plea
i say this prayer
this morning
that you my Lord
would be pleased
with me
this life i offer you
take me for your moulding

i say this prayer
tonight
that you my love
would take delight
this heart i offer you
use me for your glory

i pray this prayer
always
that you my King
be lifted high
be enthroned in my life
take me for your moulding
use me for your glory

this is my plea
always


i will not give up.
aye,
ill never quit.

i tried my best to be guarded
i'm an open book instead.

you are my strength when i am weak
you are the treasure that i seek
you are my all in all

im thankful for life.
countless times ive taken it for granted.
open my blind eyes.
create in me a new heart.
again.


im clinging to the cross.

to the old rugged cross

Labels: grit your teeth and walk the road

11:18 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

"Disappointment - His appointment,"
Change one letter, then I see
That the thwarting of my purpose
Is God's better choice for me.
His appointment must be a blessing,
Though it may come in disguise,
For the end from the beginning
Open to His wisdom lies.

"Disappointment - His appointment,"
Whose? The Lord, who loves me best,
Understands and knows me fully,
Who my faith and love would test;
For, like a loving earthly parent,
He rejoices when He knows
That His child accepts, unquestioned,
All that from His wisdom flows.

"Disappointment - His appointment,"
"No good thing will He withhold,"
From denials oft we gather
Treasures of His love untold,
Well He knows each broken purpose
Leads to fuller, deeper trust,
And the end of all His dealings
Proves our God is wise and just.

"Disappointment - His appointment,"
Lord, I take it, then, as such.
Like the clay in hands of potter,
Yielding wholly to Thy touch.
All my life's plan is Thy moulding,
Not one single choice be mine;
Let me answer, unrepining -
"Father, not my will, but Thine."

~Edith Lillian Young~

12:55 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

the rose may fade from this soft young cheek
one day;
will you love me 'mid the falling leaves,
as you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
i may launch my all on its tide?

i stake my life
to be all that you demand of me.

what a long week.

i'd sit outside the door
just to hear you breathing.

and feel your heartbeat close to mine.

so close my eyes and hold my heart
cover me and make me something
change this something normal
into something beautiful.


that the bird might fly free
into the air
feeling the rush of wind


and i hear you say,
i love you.

the sacrifice.
the dilemna.
don't give up.


My hand is with you,
my daughter.

i await the miracle.
i await.

with all my heart,
with it full,
and empty at the same time.

hold on to my promise.
don't give up.

help this eyes that cannot see beyond.

there's distance in the air
and i cannot make it leave
i wave my arms all about me
and blow with all my might

i cannot sense you close
but i know you're always near
and the comfort of you near is what i long for

when i can't feel you
i have learnt to reach out just the same
when i can't hear you
i know you still hear every word i pray
and i want you
more than i wanna live another day

as i wait for you
i know i'm made more
faithful.

Labels: wave my arms all about me.

12:43 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

ill hang onto you.

11:21 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

what a wonderful wonderful day((:

went to Botanical Gardens with the BASIC LIFE.
and i thank you God.
so much.
for giving me this cell.
been such a long road that we've travelled tog.
2 years. sounds short, but seems lk we've moved on and have grown more.
not to mention the relationships that have been strengthened.

i climbed a tree at BG.
yay!! one of the things i wanted to accomplish in life.
climb a tree!
and i did it today!!
was so exciting and scary and fun and adrenaline rushing.
the tree wasn't very tall tho. heh.
and yes. i felt lk catwoman.
and they all had fun laughing at me.
so hard to get them to go to the tree to climb with me.

-always had kids or other ppl takin shots
-we just sat down, we're tired
-wait for everyone to go
-aiya. later when we leaving la
-nobody take care of our things, ltr someone run n steal how?
-caron, u jus want a photographer right?

oh my. the list of excuses goes on.
and finally joseph stood and said "let's go climb!"
and yaynesss(:
everyone except hohon went.
hohon lazy sia. lie there n strum my guitar.

and off we went.
hahaha.
joseph amazing la. can climb faster then me.
i clung tightly to the branch. fear of falling.
i realised that i was qt scared of heights.
ashamed of myself, i attempted diff positions on the tree to get the safest and most stable grip and hold on the tree.
and yes! finally got it.
with the rest exclaimin i looked like catwoman,
and haha. oh my.
a moment of glamness when they all took shots.
felt lk some photoshoot which im so embarrassed about.

and dear xin en, char, claud and jonk only sat at the bottom of the tree and took shots. while i climbed excitedly to the not-so-top of the branch.
and felt so accomplished. and yay(((:

and yes. came the part of coming down.
they wanted to leave me there.
but of course. they wouldn(:
and the many solutions of coming down:

-climb back down
-swing urself down
-let's do trust fall!!
-u can step on our shoulders! (no. ur shoulders will break.)
-mm the guys can support you!
-CAN I JUST JUMP DOWN? (nooo. they said it was too dangerous and that the ground was too rough and not nice to jump.)

in the end.
joseph did a demo for me and i followed suit.
much to the amusement of the BASIC LIFE clan.
and oh my.
it was qt terrifying. but i feel lk doin it again. so funnn(:

that marks the end of my tree-climbing episode.
would love to do that someday again(((:

smiles widely.

and yes.
thank You lord.
for always being my comforter.
its amazing how u spoke to me at TungLing that day.
that morning.
when you gave me your promise.
that You are my comforter.
and You are with me in the mountain
and the valley.
and You are good
all the time.

Father of life
draw me closer
Lord my heart is set on You
let me run the race of time
with Your life enfolding mine
and let the peace of God
let it reign

Oh Holy Spirit
You're my comfort
strengthen me
hold my head up high
let me stand upon Your truth
bringing glory unto You
and let the peace of God
let it reign

O Lord i hunger
for more of You
rise up within me
let me know Your truth
O Holy Spirit
saturate my soul
and let the life of God
fill me now
let Your healing power
bring life and make me whole
and let the peace of God
let it reign
-Darlene Zschech

yes.
let Your peace reign in my heart o Lord.
calm every doubt and fear.
and thing that stands in the way,
take it away.
refine me Lord through the flame.
let me burn with passion for you Lord.

school on monday.
im not looking forward to it.
but.
you make me wanna be brave.
and i will jump,
just close my eyes.

what if the arms that catch you
catch you by surprise?

and you are more than enough.

Your grace is enough
more than i need
by Your word i will be free

let the interior be paved with love.
song of solomon 3:10b

Labels: the day i climbed a tree.

12:46 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

The day is dimming and I'm yearning for you
I won't be satisfied till I see your face
Every victory, every loss
Every ticket, every cross
You can put them all in place

It seems I'm finding more of why
In these moments
I feel like I'm made to sing of how good you are
The more the years swell by and pass
Each seconds more than last
It's true by far

That no profound thought or clever rhyme
No soaring grand, melodic line
No theory, philosophy or sign
Can explain it
Can explain

Where you are, I wanna be
It's your love that has changed me
I'd give the world, and all it's charms
For a moment in your arms
Better is one day with you
Than a thousand elsewhere
A thousand elsewhere

I still remember what it felt like before you
I'm grateful every day for how things have changed
I'll thank you every way I can
'Cos my life only began
When I heard you call my name

Now, no praise of man
No great acclaim
No humble looking kind of fane
No power, wealth or worldly gain
Could satisfy me
Could every satisfy

Where you are, I wanna be
It's your grace that has raised me
I'd give my whole life to honour you
And whom I live
And whom I move
Better is one day with you
Than a thousand elsewhere

Better is one day in your courts
Better is one day in your house
Better is one day in your courts
Than anywhere else oh
Lead me, lead me
Lead me to your self
Lead me to your heart

Where you are, I wanna be
It's your love that has changed me
I'd give my life, to honour you
And whom I live
And whom I move
Better is one day with you
Than a thousand elsewhere
A thousand elsewhere

Lead me to your self
Lead me to your heart
I'll be found in you
I'll be found in you
Here is peace
Here is joy
Here is light
Here is freedom, freedom

-Day is Dimming
Brooke Fraser

1:35 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i feel my heart washed with your loving tears

so i'll take these words
and put them in a treasure box
only for You my friend, my Saviour
to have and to hold
til forever
til forever fades away

and i'll take these words
and put them in a treasure box
only for You to hear
the lover of my soul
how beautiful,
how sacred the moment of silence

and i hear the whisper,
"i love you"

-Treasure Box

my dear bimbo that walked with me that night.
haha not physically but thanks dear,
for listening and caring(:
and dearest ginny whom i haven't met in ages.

learning to cherish and to love.
first week of 2009 almost over!
ahh.

and school is starting next week.
not really looking forward to it. but im motivated to study(:
the whole new year ahead.

-sucks in my breath-

here, before your altar
i am letting go of all i am
to wash your feet with humble tears
i would be poured out til nothing's left
i just want to wait on you my God
i just want to dwell on who you are

Beautiful, beautiful
O Lord
i'm lost for more to say
Beautiful, beautiful
O Lord
you're beautiful to me


vision night 2009 was such a great night(:
takin umpteen shots with lijia was ultimate. hahaha.

and yes Lord.
to be filled to overflowing.
theme this year:

Overflow.

out of the overflow of the heart,
the mouth speaks.

and i will serve you out of the overflow.
i want to be filled til overflowing.
and ooze with your fragrance Lord.

help me.

beholding your beauty
is all that i long for
to worship you Jesus is my soul's desire
for this very heart you have shaped for your pleasure
the purpose to lift your Name high

strong words.
that mean such a whole lot.

i will Lord.
behold your beautiful face.

and i love you
all of my hope is in you
Jesus Christ
take my life
take all of me

love that's stronger
love that covers sin
and takes the weight of the world.

the greatest of love
poured out for all
this is our God.

Labels: let me fall to my knees. i pray.

12:42 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i want to get married!

attended simon's wedding today.
seemed lk really such a blur that we were all attending tungling. oh my.
i cannot believe its almost a year that we have known each other.

she ws the coolest bride ever.
the car that was to pick her up had a punctured tire.
and guess what.
she jumped into a TAXI and headed for the church!
oh my.

talk about saying the vows at the altar.
the minister was "i can see you've proven yourself that you want to get married!"
(:

and as always.
the bride is always the pretiest and most beautiful on her wedding day!
lydia and i both felt her dress and outfits in the photos taken were soooo nice and simple! ahh! i want to get wedding photos taken too! enough of UNglam shot man.

stories were shared.
about this old couple, who looked into each others eyes and said,
"we've been married for 60 yrs now."
oooh.
haha.
talk about me being a romantic freak.

and i sat there thinking.

i want to lead worship on my wedding day! oh my. so exciting! haha.
and i was whispering to lala tt i want to be a wedding singer. and yay(: i shall sing at her wedding! (:


dad said its not wrong to day-dream.
he mentioned briefly about going to visit aunty soo khim in Canada this year.
and then crushed my rising mountain of excitement that im finally going on a holiday.

oh well.

2008 is over.

welcome 2009.

God's HEHES. prettiest Dutch ladies(:


THE BASIC LIFE. we rock.


dearest church buddies and besties(:


giving You the greatest glory, Lord


SMASH 2008 worship team. loves loads.


a whole new year ahead.
and alr one day is past and im stepping into the new year.
its all coming too soon! ahh!

had our HAHAS stayover last night at the Wong's hideout. with belle and janice. the future generation.
haha.
and it was just the most awesome time ever. sorry i culdn join u guys earlier. wish i had! ):



i want baileys.



miss you girls so much(:

and yes.
2009 that comes.
so much that my heart fears.
but you said in your word lord,
perfect love casts out fear.

and yes. i shant fear.

but i will cling onto you.
and i will look into this new year with much hope in You.
and trusting that you will carry me through.

He's able, He's able
i know He's able
i know my Lord is able to carry me through

He heals the broken hearted
and set the captives free
He makes the lame walk again
and cause the blind to see
oh yeah!

He's able, He's able!
i know He's able!
i know my Lord is able to carry me through!

smiles.

yes Lord.

my soul secure
Your promise sure
Your love endures always.

all Your promises won't let go of me.

Your love is a light and
it lights my step
my heart is amazed
everyday to the next
Your joy overtakes
and i can't forget about it

OOOHHHH OOOHHH OOOHHHH
I CAN'T FORGET ABOUT IT(:

i won't forget about it.

worship You, my Lord, til the very end.

Labels: a new year to love You.

11:17 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

-

all the brothers and sisters

-

of old.

-

credits.

-

wonderful people

-